


Long Road Home

by Cerih



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 07:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerih/pseuds/Cerih
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Toshiko end up taking the long road home. AU from Captain Jack Harkness, major spoilers for the said episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in the making for about five years. I wrote the first few chapters, but never posted them anywhere for some reason. Now that I'm watching Torchwood again, I feel it's time to finish writing this. Part of the reason for getting back to Torchwood was indeed inspiring myself to return to this, as I always felt that the story needed finishing. I've been posting this on Fanficton.net for some time now and thought I ought to post it here as well. 
> 
> I have rated this story 'teen and up', although there will be a chapter later, which is a little more mature. I will post a warning at the beginning of it. Other than that, enjoy, and if you happen to like what I've done here, please leave a comment.

20 Jan 1941, Ritz Dance Hall, Cardiff

Timing, Captain Jack Harkness found, could be such a precious thing. It had taken a long time for the original Captain Harkness to work up the nerve to approach Jack, to go against the social norms of the period he was living in, and when he finally did, the two men had only time for a passionate, slow dance and a kiss flavoured with their combined tears. There was so much potential in that single kiss, Jack could almost feel possible futures slipping past him, through him, history and future aligning to become what he knew was to be. Then he had to do what was right, to remember his duty, and to leave behind this beautiful man who only had a day to live.

Jack hesitated only a moment, longing to lose himself in the Captain's soulful eyes, before he backed away from his dance partner. With a deep breath, he prepared himself to travel through time, to go back to his home in the Hub and back to the beautiful, fragile love he had built with Ianto. Before him, the Rift pulsed and shimmered in blinding colours, each flashing past almost too fast to register. Both Jack and Toshiko experienced a moment of trepidation, knowing that they would have to enter the vortex of light in order to return to their time. There was no telling what effect the Rift would have on them and whether they would even survive the experience. The thought that spurred them on was the knowledge that this was their only way home. Jack turned back to see Captain Harkness salute him and the tears fell freely from his eyes. A glance shared between him and Tosh indicated that they were both ready and they started forward. However, as Jack stepped into the light of the Rift with anxious Toshiko by his side, he instantly knew that something was amiss. Indeed, the Torchwood officers stepped straight through the light and emerged on the landing behind it, just as the light ebbed and faded away.

"Jack?"

Toshiko's panic was clear in her exclamation, fear replacing hope and joy in her dark eyes.

"There must have been an anomaly in the Rift, which made it close as we were trying to pass through it. The others will have opened it to bring us home, based on the co-ordinates you left them and I expect they are struggling to stabilize the power fluctuation long enough to pull as through. Don't worry, Tosh, they are no doubt already working on it and the Rift will open again."

Jack wrapped his arm around his companion in order to reassure her, but he already had a sinking feeling in his stomach about what would happen. Even with the co-ordinates and the Rift manipulator back at the Torchwood headquarters, the Rift was unpredictable and difficult to control. Given the dangers associated with Rift activity, they had always refrained from experimenting too much and therefore did not properly understand how to channel its potential. Jack understood that the others were trying to do all they could to help bring the rest of the team back to the present, including taking the gamble of opening the Rift. And for some reason, the gamble had not paid off.

While he was comforting Toshiko and trying to fight off the feeling of dread seeping through him, Jack's eyes slowly found Captain Harkness, suddenly aware of everyone in the room staring at them. He had a sneaking feeling that it was not entirely because of the light show either. The original Jack Harkness' eyes were full of sorrow and indecision, and Jack suddenly felt an irresistible urge to embrace the man. Toshiko, always observant, followed Jack's gaze and stepped away from her employer's arms.

"Go to him", she whispered, "I will keep watch for any Rift activity and find you if something happens."

Jack gently squeezed her hand to show how grateful he was, and then crossed the distance separating him from Captain Harkness. When he finally stood in front of the man, their eyes met, and no words needed to be spoken. Jack took the Captain's hand and slowly led him out of the hall, with the crowd watching them leave in silence.


	2. Waiting the Night Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.
> 
> Author's note: Sorry for the short chapter. I'm using the natural breaks in the story for the chapters and they tend to vary in lenght.

Toshiko, together with everyone else in the dance hall, watched as the two men exited and she could not help the small twinge of jealousy rising within her. She was not jealous of Jack as such – indeed she was the only one of the Torchwood team who had no wish to sleep with their dashing leader – but rather she longed for someone to show her as much passion as the Captain willingly offered to all his partners. Tosh sighed and realizing that she had been staring at the now empty doorway she moved across the room to an out of the way table. She sat down and proceeded to fix her eyes firmly at the spot where the Rift had opened only a few short moments ago, as if she was able to summon it back if she only stared at the spot hard enough.

Toshiko was lost in her thoughts of despair and oblivious to everything happening around her, until she was roused from her musings by a shadow falling across the table. She looked up to see before her Tim, the kind navigator who had given her to co-ordinates for the dance hall and later bandaged her hand. He looked friendly, albeit rather curious, and with an assent from her, he sat down on a chair next to her. He was holding two glasses of brandy and handed one of them to Toshiko.

"I thought you might like a drink."

"Thank you," Tosh nodded and took a sip of the strong liquid.

"That was some light show earlier", he remarked with a kind smile.

"I suppose it was," Tosh replied, frowning slightly, "but I don't think it quite went the way it was supposed to".

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, and then Tim, blushing slightly, said to the table. "You're looking very pretty tonight. I wanted to tell you that earlier, but I didn't get a chance."

Toshiko also blushed and looked down at herself. "Oh, thank you. I was on my way to celebrate my grandfather's birthday when we made a detour here. He is 88 today, a joyous year for the Japanese..."

Thus they settled into light conversation, talking about everything and nothing in particular. Tosh found the young soldier easy to talk to, even if she did have to be very careful not to give away where she was really from. Tim kept her company throughout the night, while around them people danced and laughed. Gradually the crowd thinned until they were the only two left. They moved to a more comfortable seating area and Toshiko kept Tim busy by asking him a continuous stream of questions about what his training entailed. Eventually fatigue claimed her and she fell asleep on the sofa, at which point Tim draped his coat over her and retired to his quarters further along the road.


	3. Loving the Night Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.
> 
> Author's note: A warning - this is the chapter that is more 'mature' than 'teen etc' rated, although perhaps it's just borderline. I'm not quite sure, so feel I ought to warn you just to be safe. If you are offended by mature content or are too young to read it, feel free to skip this chapter. You can pretty well pick up what happened from the next one.

Jack took Captain Harkness away from the dance hall and into one of the small bedrooms upstairs, never letting go of other man's hand. He made sure the door was locked, not wanting to repeat the interruption from earlier that evening, and then turned to his companion. The kiss that followed was every bit as passionate as the one they had shared on the dance floor, and this time neither man held back in any way. He had told the real Captain Harkness to go to his woman and lose himself, yet the unassuming Captain had chosen to give himself to Jack instead. Jack was grateful that he had been given a second chance with his name sake, and he would be damned if he did not make the most of the night ahead.

All through the night Jack worshipped Captain Harkness. The Captain was hesitant at first, flustered and clearly uncertain how to go about making love to another man. Jack started by entwining their fingers, marveling the sensation of skin on skin. Even such a simple gesture seemed incredibly sensual and erotic to him, and he felt his body react instantly. He slowly undressed the Captain, following the trail of newly-exposed skin with kisses and licks that made the other man shudder with anticipation. When his partner was finally undressed, Jack quickly shrugged his own clothes off and steered them to the bed. Once there, Jack again gently took the lead, coaxing gasps out of his lover and encouraging the tentative caresses that soon grew more confident.

When they were finally joined, it was impossible to tell where one man ended and the other began. Even the slightest movement sent waves of pleasures through both of them and they could feel their hearts beating in a frenzied unison. The air was filled with the mingled scent of love making and sweat and the only sounds that the couple heard, despite the music and dancing continuing downstairs, were the soft gasps and moans elicited by deft fingers and lingering kisses. Breaking their passionate kiss, Jack rose to his elbows to see the man he was embracing. He admired the sad, soulful eyes, the impossibly long eye lashes and the muscular body which felt so good against his. For that moment, the Captain was caught in a torrent of love and regret. He had told his lover to live each night like it was his last, and now Captain Harkness was doing exactly that, on the last night of his life.

Thus, while he was able, the time traveler gave his body to Captain Harkness, offering pleasure and love in equal measures. For that short night, he loved the original Jack Harkness with every atom of his being and would allow no rest for either of them. It was only when the first rays of daylight banished the darkness from the small room that the two men succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep with their limbs still entwined.

Few hours of rest was all they got, before a knock on the door roused them from their slumber. Captain Harkness gently kissed his new lover and almost leaped out of bed. He seemed like a new man, Jack mused with heavy heart, and indeed the events of the night had put a new spring in his step. Despite the lack of sleep, the Captain positively glowed and he watched Jack with eyes so full with love and passion that the other man had to use all his will power not to burst into tears. Instead Jack got dressed slowly, smiling and reassuring Captain Harkness that he should return to his men and that they could share breakfast on another occasion.

"Am I going to see you again?" Captain Harkness asked, suddenly uncertain.

"Of course", Jack replied, smiling so hard his jaws ached, "I have another day of leave, so I will see you here tonight." He kissed his lover one last time, lingering against his lips far longer than he perhaps should have done, and then continued. "Now go. No need to keep your men waiting."

Captain Harkness smiled and then turned to go.

"Wait!" Jack called out before he could stop himself. "Be careful out there."

"Today is just a training exercise," the Captain smiled at the fellow officer's concern, "we'll be fine."

"In any case, you never know what might happen," Jack spoke quietly, struggling to say something without giving away his knowledge of what was going to befall that day. "Please, promise me you will be careful?"

"I promise," Captain Harkness nodded in assent, sensing the change in the mood to something more serious, "for you, anything."

The Captain returned to brush his lips against Jack's for a final time and then left. Jack watched his lover walk out of the room and towards his impending death. Only once the other man had disappeared down the corridor did he sit down on the bed and allow the tears to fall.


	4. Crushed Hopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.

Toshiko had fallen asleep on a couch in the early hours of the morning with Tim's coat draped over her and she was jolted from her fitful rest by a gentle hand shaking her shoulder. She blinked at the sight of Jack peering down on her and for a moment wondered what her employer was doing in her bedroom. Then Tosh remembered where she was and a wave of panic and hopelessness washed over her. She looked to the spot where the Rift had opened, only to see an ordinary stretch of floor.

"Did we miss it?" She quickly asked Jack as she got up from the sofa and stretched.

"No", Jack shook his head and smiled ruefully, "no further activity occurred during the night."

The Captain appeared quiet and withdrawn, and when Toshiko looked at him more closely, she noticed the slight redness of his eyes, which betrayed the tears he had shed earlier. From his weary demeanor, Tosh assumed that Jack had not slept much during the night and she felt a pang of sadness for her boss, who had for all intents and purposes found and lost a lover in a single day. She gave his hand a squeeze and Jack offered her a grateful smile, clearly interpreting the gesture in the way it was intended. The Japanese woman looked around the now empty dance hall and then at the coat lying rumbled on the sofa, and wondered if she would have a chance to return it to its owner.

"So what do we do now?" She asked, turning back to Jack.

"Now we wait."

For the next two days, they waited. They took turns to sleep, eat and shower, and even when the bombs rocked the building and rained terror on Cardiff, Jack only sent Toshiko to the safety of the basement. He himself had little to fear from the bombs, and they both knew that the building was not seriously damaged by the enemy pilots, as otherwise it would not have still been standing in their time. Nevertheless Jack was not willing to allow any harm to befall Toshiko as a result of his complacency and insisted that she rush to the bomb shelter whenever the warning sirens were heard.

In the evening of the second day, the news of the disastrous training mission and Captain Harkness' heroism reached the hall, where Jack and Toshiko were still waiting. Captain Harkness was missing – presumed dead – but he would always be remembered as a true war hero. When the soldiers told them, Jack merely turned his head away and stared at the floor until he had composed himself. He had known it all already, of course, but nevertheless a small part of his heart had still hoped against all hope that his lover had survived. Captain Jack Harkness would remain missing for some months, until he would emerge in London, safe and sound and ready to resume his duties at the front with an entirely different unit, one which had never met him before.

Jack had been right when he had told Toshiko that there was nothing he could do for the real Captain Harkness. He had travelled with the Doctor enough to know that interfering with the past and the future was unwise, especially when it pertained to one's own timeline. If Captain Harkness had survived, he would not have been able to assume his identity and who knew how that would have impacted his chance encounter with the Doctor and Rose in London. Despite his logic telling him all this, he grieved for the love he had lost, for he had loved Captain Harkness fiercely, albeit for a too short a period of time. However, he was also grateful that he had been granted an opportunity to meet the brave Captain, whose name he had taken, and indeed to find that they were more alike than they had ever expected. And so, he mourned for love and life lost almost as soon as they had been discovered and for a soldier who had died far too young.

Through his grief, he found himself increasingly missing Ianto and the solace that the young Welshman's presence offered to the immortal man. He had told Captain Harkness that he had no one, but now he was a little ashamed to realise that in that moment he had forgotten about the Torchwood archivist. Jack did, in fact, have someone, although perhaps he had not appreciated that as much as he should have done. His relationship with his young employee has been very casual, which had suited him initially but which had recently made him feel increasingly uneasy. Once Jack had gotten to know him outside work, he had found that Ianto wore his heart on his sleeve and had grown to care a great deal for his boss. Amidst all his other regrets, Jack wished he had taken the time to say goodbye to Ianto, rather than just dashing out of the Hub with Tosh, in a hurry as always.

By the third day of their vigil, both Toshiko and Jack knew that the Rift would not reopen. They were stuck in the past with no way home, and all there was left to do was to create new lives for themselves as best as they could. Toshiko wept for her family and friends, now lost forever, while Jack did his best to console his friend. Jack felt his veins fill with ice when he considered that in front of him spanned decades filled with loneliness, until the 20th century changed to 21st century and he had once more lived through it all.


	5. Building New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.

Thus their time as Torchwood agents came to an end, in Jack's case however only temporarily. Jack officially discharged Tosh from the service, although he saw no reason to even attempt to retcon his companion. He trusted her, and in their current situation, her memories were all she had left. Besides, the little of the drug he carried with him as standard provision would not have been anywhere near enough to wipe out all of Tosh's knowledge of aliens, Torchwood and UNIT. She stood the best chance of building herself a new life in their predicament with all her memories intact, otherwise there would be nothing to explain why she was living in a time period decades before she was even born.

Toshiko was fearful of the future – she had no idea how to live in the 1940s – but she was reassured by Jack's promise to always look after her. They could have contacted the local Torchwood and continued their work in the past, but Jack knew that the knowledge of the future they carried with them was far too powerful to be handed over to the old Torchwood. More importantly, since Jack's association with the institute spanned back in history, there was a serious risk of scrambling timelines, even if they were to carry out their work away from Cardiff. Therefore, they stayed away from their colleagues and avoided Torchwood's surveillance techniques like ghosts fading from the view.

Jack leapt into action in the days following and managed to procure both of them new identities and all the associated paperwork, although he allowed Toshiko to keep her name since it was the only thing she had left of her family. This did prove somewhat problematic even for the resourceful Captain, given that people were on high alert due to the war and everything came under much greater scrutiny than usually. He nevertheless charmed, bribed and, in a couple of instance, threatened enough people to secure all that he needed. As a last resort, he even went as far as breaking into the office of Bilis Manger at the Ritz Dance Hall. The Captain had his suspicions of the man, which were confirmed when he not only found a great deal cash from a variety of time periods but various items that would not be invented for some time to come.

Following the burglary, Jack spent some time keeping an eye on the Ritz Dance Hall, hoping to catch the elusive manager. Bilis Manger clearly had a way to travel backwards and forwards in time, mostly like through manipulating the Rift somehow, and he was hoping he could persuade, or threaten, him to take them back to the 21st century. Unfortunately for the Captain, it was as if the elusive stranger knew someone was looking for him because he was nowhere to be seen. After a while the immortal man had to give up staring at the empty dance hall and focus on more important things.

Jack also did some digging around in Cardiff and having found the information he needed, he took Toshiko to a small village in the West Country, where the Army had one of its intelligence and communications bases. There Toshiko was given a job Jack had associated with her earlier, as a decoder of Japanese intelligence. This guaranteed her safety during the war and the years following it and also functioned as the foundation of her new life. Her intelligence and in particular her knowledge of codes were a considerable asset and she soon became the unit's most prized decoder. Jack in the meanwhile took a job under false name as a courier and delivered sensitive messages between different command centers. Thus he ensured that he had a legitimate reason to stay close to Toshiko and watch over her.

Tosh was given quarters at the Army base where she worked and Jack also stayed there whenever he was in the area. She kept mostly to herself when not working and indeed she had a reputation for working longer hours than anyone else in her team. Part of the reason was that she was hesitant to try making friends when she might slip up and reveal who she truly was. Another part, however, was that she felt she had something to prove, to herself, to Jack and to the people who had taken her on at the Captain's recommendation. It was only when Jack was around that she was able to be herself and her former employer did his best to get her out more. Gradually she started to inch out of her shell with her co-workers and eventually came to call some of them as friends.

In the months following, Jack avoided London as much as he could. He knew the Doctor, his Doctor, would be there, together with Rose, his Rose, but a younger version of himself would be with them, so he dared not try approaching them. He was of course very much tempted by the idea of contacting the Doctor and begging him to take Toshiko and himself back home in the TARDIS, but the Doctor knew him as a mortal conman, and Jack knew better than to try interfering with the course of history. His way home would be through patience.


	6. Unexpected Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.

When the atomic bomb destroyed Hiroshima four and a half years later, both Toshiko and Jack wept for all the lives lost. They consoled themselves with the knowledge that the death and destruction marked a hope for the future, for the war was almost finished. Soon it would be time to rebuild, heal and mourn those lost forever. Tosh was particularly affected by the bombs, wishing all through the war that things could have gone differently. During those first years, much of her efforts were concentrated on learning to live in a much altered world, and for that she got help from an unexpected source.

Toshiko did get a chance to return Tim's coat to him when she found the navigator standing nervously at her door step couple of months after she and Jack had left Cardiff. Tim had spent his leave finding out where they had moved and he had come to see the beautiful Japanese woman who had made such an impression on him. He had only a few hours to spare before he had to report for duty, but as they walked on the windswept meadow, he hesitantly took her hand and asked whether she minded him coming to see her again. From there on, they met whenever Tim had leave and in between they wrote letters to one another. Jack often remarked to Tosh how cute it all was, but secretly he was pleased for her.

When the war was over, Tim was discharged with great honours. The war had changed him, aged him beyond his years, but Tosh loved him all the more for his maturity. Tim found employment with the Ordnance Survey, which was as close to a civilian version of navigation as he could find at the time. Toshiko continued her work as a decoder even after the war, as peace treaties did not seem to negate the need for secret communications between nations around the world. She loved her job, excelled at it and soon found herself heading the intelligence team not just at the local base but for the whole region. She knew that part of her success was due to the knowledge she had of the future, but Jack was always quick to remind her that she was also brilliant in her own right.

Tim proposed to Toshiko on the same meadow where they had taken their first walk together. She was delighted, even if his nervousness had caused her to speculate that he was planning something, and accepted without hesitation. They were married in a small village church near the Army base, with only Jack and the couple of friends Toshiko had made at work attending on her side. She explained this to Tim by saying that after some of her family was killed in the war, the rest had returned to Japan to look for the relatives they had in the area around Hiroshima. Despite his astuteness, Tim never thought to question the fact that he had not met anyone from his wife's family.

Over the years, Tosh and Tim had six children, five of which survived to adulthood. They greeted the arrival of each child with immense happiness, even if their youngest son did succumb to an infection whilst still in infancy. Toshiko in particular was devastated by the loss of her precious baby, for she had grown up in an age where most ailments were easily cured. The arrival of their final daughter two years later erased much of her sadness but each night before sleep claimed her she allowed her thoughts to linger on the life she had lost. Tim made a wonderful father, who was always keen to get involved in the child care and teaching their children everything they ought to know. Toshiko, too, relished motherhood, perhaps more than she ever expected and found herself surprisingly good at it. It was not that she had ever thought she would make a bad mother as such, but before she was stranded in the past she never gave much thought to the prospect of one day starting a family.

Their children all grew up under the watchful eye of their Uncle Jack, a mysterious man whose face stayed as young and smooth as it had been on the day he had stepped through the doors of the Ritz Dance Hall. Only his eyes showed his age, betraying the sorrow he felt and the agony of waiting for a life that lay so far ahead in the future. Tosh and Jack rarely spoke of the future, but they were so at ease with one another that they drew comfort simply from spending time together. Toshiko had known from the start that she would never survive long enough to see the rest of the Torchwood team again. There were simply too many decades between her and the life she used to have. She grieved for everything she had been forced to leave behind, but at the same time, she was grateful for the unexpected happiness she had been granted.


	7. The Hollow Decades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.

The first few years after they got stranded in the past were easy. Jack put all his energy into helping Toshiko cope with her losses and into building a new life for her. He relished the task in a way, for feeling needed was the balm he required for his own wounds to begin healing. Jack had given his word to Tosh to look after her and he was damned if he was going to break his promise. Besides, her depending on him gave him a purpose he sorely needed now that he was no longer in charge of running Torchwood 3.

Jack taught himself Japanese in his spare time. He had always wanted to learn the language and since he slept very little, he now had plenty of time to do so. He set up an elaborate scheme to write letters to Toshiko in Japanese, ostensibly from her family in Japan, to avoid Tim and, later, their children becoming suspicious about never having met any of their Asian relatives. The letters were filled with his memories of Torchwood and the team, of happy times together, which he hoped would offer Tosh a small amount of comfort. This gradually became an intricate game for them, where they swapped memories of their old life. They both cherished those letters and Toshiko promised that she would ensure his letters would be returned to him after her death, so that there would be no chance of any of her children deciding to have them translated.

They also took to conversing in Japanese whenever Jack visited Tosh. There were noticeably fewer Japanese people living in post war England and Toshiko missed speaking her native language. Initially their talks were one sided, with her helping Jack with his pronunciation and sentence structures, but he was a quick study and soon they were able to converse about a wide range of topics. Not only did speaking Japanese make Toshiko feel a little less stranded, but it also gave them a measure of privacy. Jack was always asking how she was coping with her new life and in Japanese she was able to give him more honest and thorough answers, even when Tim was in the room. Her husband seemed to enjoy the sound of the foreign language spoken around him, but he had very little aptitude for learning languages and never picked up more than the most basic phrases.

Jack was genuinely delighted that Tosh had found herself someone to love. He liked teasing her about them being a cute couple but he drew comfort from her happiness. Tim was a good man, who clearly cared for her deeply. Considering how she had immersed herself in Torchwood in the past, Jack was glad that she now had something else in her life. While Tosh still took her work very seriously, she appreciated her free time in a very different way. Now her husband and family were the most important things for her, rather than her flourishing career. It was unusual for a woman to continue working after having children, but Toshiko managed it just fine, relishing the different challenges in her life. Jack knew that her superiors respected her all the more for it.

After Toshiko and Tim were married, Jack took a step back from her life. The newlyweds needed time alone to get to know each other and to learn how to live together. Besides, Jack mused, Tosh now had Tim to look after her. The couple seemed to sense his motivation and both were quietly grateful of his thoughtfulness. The Captain was nevertheless always welcome in their home and they had a standing arrangement for Sunday lunch together every other Sunday. In time with was Toshiko's turn to worry about her immortal companion and Jack's turn to reassure her that he really was doing fine. Somehow neither quite believed his words.

Whenever Jack thought about the decades spanning before him, he felt a cold hand gripping his heart. What was he going to do with all that time? How many mortals would he love and lose while he waited? More importantly, since he knew he had a life to get back to in the future, how could he build himself anything new now, only to have to abandon it after the turn of the century? The idea of merely drifting for over sixty years made him feel hollow inside, as if somehow he had already lost himself.

Once the war was over, Jack left the Army and sought employment elsewhere. Over time he took many different jobs, each more dangerous and difficult than the ones before. His reasoning was mainly that if he was doing them, one less mortal was risking their life on a daily basis. Deep inside, however, Jack knew that the adrenaline spikes he got from the hazards of his employment were the only thing that made him feel truly alive. In a way he was replacing the thrill of working for Torchwood, but now it was all he could do to keep the numbness within him at bay. At work he was known as bold, reckless even, and he never backed away from a challenge. More than once he came close to having his secret found out by co-workers, but he was always able to chalk him surviving impossible accidents down to quick reflexes and a lot of good luck.

The Captain never stayed in any one job for too long, partly because he got bored fairly quickly and partly because people tended to get suspicious when he remained unharmed and forever youthful when others accumulated scars and grey hairs. He maintained a number of shady connections, who supplied him with false identities and paper trails whenever he needed them. Jack also made regular trips to Cardiff to see if he could finally locate Bilis Manger. Unfortunately the elusive stranger seemed to have a knack of knowing when Jack was looking for him and the Captain never could find him. There was plenty of evidence that he was still around and continued to be the manager of the Ritz Dance Hall, but whenever the immortal man was in Cardiff, he vanished without a trace.

Over the years, Jack took many lovers, some just for one night, some who stayed for a little longer. Never once did he fall in love, however, nor did he allow these faceless strangers to get close to the real him. They were merely shadows, there to keep him company while he waited. And Jack waited, biding his time until such time as he would once more see the one man who had filled his hearth with joy and happiness. The Welshman would be born in the future and all Jack had to do was let the time flow around him, and over him, and eventually the tide would carry him home to his beloved Ianto.

Despite his best efforts and his diverting jobs, Jack did end of drifting as the decades slowly passed. He would vanish for months at a time and Tosh would receive postcards from a variety of exotic locations. Jack spent a summer with a group of biologists at the North Pole, watching the barren landscape transform into a lush world teeming with life. He swam with grey whales off the coast of Mexico, spending time with the giant beasts in the warm waters where they raised their young. He hiked through the nigh impenetrable jungles of the Amazonian rainforest, exploring the overgrown ancient ruins hidden in the shadows of the towering canopies. He made his way across the endless African savannah, following the herds of zebras and wildebeests during the annual migration. He helped people when he could, even if it was just a simple things like digging a well in an area hit hard by a draught or giving a starving child a loaf of bread. Some times he could do more, help rebuild a village or overthrow a local warlord terrorizing the people. Jack immersed himself with the beauty and wonder found on Earth, and with the simple happiness of ordinary people, in the hopes that it could somehow ease the hollow ache within him.

The closest he came to losing hope, and therefore himself, was when he realized that he was beginning to forget. He woke up one morning and could no longer remember what Ianto's aftershave smelled like, or how Gwen tilted her head when she flirted with him, or how Owen grumbled when he was made to clean the autopsy bay. He had to choke back the tears of despair as he strained to remember as much about his team as he could. He locked himself in his current flat for weeks, writing things down and sketching the faces of the people he longed to see. It was Ianto whom he drew the most and whom he struggled to capture on paper. There was something about the young Welshman that defied his artistic abilities, taunting him at the very edge of his consciousness. In a fit of uncontrolled rage, he threw all of his drawings in the fireplace and watched the flames devour the fruits of his work. He wrapped his arms around himself in an effort to hold close all the memories of his young lover and surrendered himself to the inevitable erosion of time.

Sometimes, on the rare occasions when he was able to sleep, the dreams crept up on Captain Jack Harkness. Before him in his bare bedroom stood his beautiful lover, like a mirage from a different life, glowing softly with love and purity. Jack would call out, pleading Ianto to come back and carry him home. He would panic as the light began to ebb and he always woke up kneeling on the hard wooden floor by his bed, tangled up in the sheets and drenched in cold sweat. It was moments like them that were the worst and Jack was not able to control his heart-wrenching sobs. The loneliness and sorrow stole upon him and he cried until his throat was hoarse and his head felt like it was going to explode. Try as he might, Jack was not able to achieve anything resembling a life as he moved agonizingly slowly through the decades. All he could do was to wait.

Jack's life began anew in the early 1970s, when he found a faint glimmer of happiness when a lover he had been with sporadically for some years announced unexpectedly that she was pregnant. She gave birth to a baby girl and named her Alice. That glimmer of happiness grew a little stronger when a little over a decade later, Jack watched a young couple carry a newborn child out of the St Mary's hospital in Cardiff. The baby boy was only five days old and the parents, having briefly considered Gareth, had decided to name him Ianto.


	8. Guardian Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.
> 
> Author's note: Here's another fairly long instalment. I was expecting this to be about a thousand words, but I kept adding to it. Still writing stuff in a weird order, which is so utterly not helpful. Thanks for the kudos, it's very much appreciated! Also, hey, a chapter from a different POV! :D

All this life, Ianto Jones had felt like someone was watching him. As a child he was a quiet introvert and so the idea of having an invisible friend appealed to him a great deal. He used to talk constantly to his unseen companion and frequently scribbled childish renditions of what his friend might look like. These were always influenced by whichever programs he had watched on TV and the toys that he had seen. One day his guardian – for he was certain he had an angel watching over him – was a Native American with a wolf companion and the next he had assumed the guise of Superman. He spent hours every day playing in the woods near his home, feeling perfectly safe under the watchful eye of his angel. Before his bed time story, he would slip out to the garden to leave a bit of supper on a flat stone. More of then than not, the food was gone by the morning.

As he grew, Ianto's main aim in life became attaining invisibility. The older boys at the council estate were always teasing him and sometimes even beating him up. He kept his head down at school and although he was highly intelligent, he made sure that his grades were never exceptional. He rarely spoke to his peers and avoided drawing attention to himself. He had no real friends to speak of, but he never felt like he needed anyone in his life, other than the watcher. Ianto was content to spend this time alone, either reading in his room and playing in the woods, surrounded by imaginary friends.

His quest for invisibility and solitude made him feel an even stronger bond with his guardian. After all, the angel was invisible too. He also grew more and more curious about his angel and spent a great deal of this time and effort attempting to communicate with and catch a glimpse of his watcher. But all his letters went unanswered – although more than once he was convinced that they had been read and carefully replaced exactly as Ianto had left them – and despite staying up all night to stare into the darkness, he never saw anyone. Eventually he resigned himself to the fact that the only things he knew about his angel were that he really was either invisible or very good at hiding, and that he was male. How he knew the being's gender, he never could quite explain, but somehow the idea of the angel being female seemed inconceivable to him.

Sometimes Ianto woke from nightmares in the middle of the night, covered in cold sweat and shaking with fear. He clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming, as he was afraid to anger his father by waking him up, and tried his best to control his breathing. In those moments, he was sure there was someone in the room with him. He drew comfort from the presence of his angel, silent and unseen as ever, and settled back down. He would whisper the details of his nightmare to his guardian, asking the being to keep the horrors from returning as he slowly drifted back to sleep. In the morning the nightmares seemed distant and pale, but he noticed that a strange scent of dark spices lingered in the air. He knew he was well looked after.

The constant feeling of his angel's presence meant that Ianto was nigh fearless. He was not fazed by walking through seedy neighbourhoods after dark, as he was safe in the knowledge that no harm would come to him. He was always right. Even when he went backpacking for a summer across Europe, the watcher followed him and he wandered confidently through the great capitals. In Greece he stood by the temple of Poseidon at Sounion and watched the moonlight glinting on the ancient white marble, at ease with the empty countryside around him. In Rome, he stood at the Roman Forum under bright stars and watched numerous lovers around him. The presence of his guardian somehow eased the pang of loneliness within him.

As time went by, Ianto became well attuned to the presence of his guardian angel. The rare moments when the watcher was not around distressed the young man greatly, but fortunately they were few and far between. He still spoke to the silence around him and although he never received a reply, he found even the silence soothing in his adolescent turmoil. Very occasionally, when he was at his angriest at the world around him, the wind would carry to him the familiar scent of exotic spices and he was instantly comforted. He smelled every type of aftershave and cologne he could find in the shops, but he could never find a brand that matched what his guardian smelled like.

He moved to London for university and the feeling of being watched diminished. Sometimes his angel was away for days at the time, but he always came back. Ianto was recruited into Torchwood straight from university and started the week after his final exams were done. He met Lisa during his first week there. He was instantly impressed by the pretty and witty woman, but it took him over a year to work up the courage to ask him out. By the time he nervously brushed his lips against hers, Ianto was in love. But when he started dating Lisa and later moved in with her, he noticed a fundamental changed in his invisible companion. His guardian was never around when he was with Lisa. He only felt the angel's presence when he was alone and even then it felt oddly distant. As much as he was in love with Lisa, there was a shadow of doubt in his mind.

Over the years Ianto had learned to trust his unseen watcher explicitly and he feared that things with Lisa might not end well. He steeled himself in anticipation and held a part of himself back from the relationship, never quite committing to it fully. But when the moment came, he was unable to do the right thing and tried to save Lisa.

Ianto woke up amidst the rubble of the Torchwood Tower's archives and for a brief, blissful moment he had no idea what had happened. Then he remembered the Daleks and the Cybermen and his colleagues, his friends, dying one by one in the attack. The last conscious thought he remembered having before passing out was that the ceiling was going to collapse on top of him and then something solid slammed into him and the world went black. He now checked himself over, finding numerous cuts and bruises, but overall he seemed to have escaped lightly. A cold wetness on his torso drew his attention and Ianto found that he was covered in blood. Another check revealed that he had no injuries that would account for that kind of blood loss and therefore it must have been someone else's. He thought he could detect a faint trace of familiar dark spices in the air, all but overpowered by the smell of dust and smoke. Ianto's heart jumped at the thought that his guardian angel had saved his life, that he was watched over even within the Torchwood Tower. He was instantly concerned, however, since if his angel had protected him, then he must be the one badly injured and bleeding. As usual, there was no sight of anyone near him or indeed anyone alive at all. This realisation, together with distant screams of agony roused him from his reverie and his thoughts turned to Lisa. Stumbling over the rubble and scattered box files, he ran out to discover the fate of his girlfriend.

If Ianto had thought that getting Lisa out of the destroyed building was difficult, it was nothing compared to dodging UNIT officers whilst attempting to salvage enough of the Cybermen's technology to keep his partially converted lover alive. He set Lisa up temporarily in one of Torchwood One's vacant warehouses, as the power requirements for the conversion unit far exceeded that available at their flat. He knew he needed a plan, fast. Being resourceful and very, very desperate, Ianto turned to the establishment that had destroyed his beautiful Lisa, but that might also be able to help bring her back, namely Torchwood itself. Torchwood Four was out of the question, having been lost for a long time. Ianto also excluded Torchwood Two, since he did not think he could keep Lisa hidden in a place run entirely by one person. But Torchwood Three was a possibility. Ianto knew of the reputation of the Cardiff branch's leader and knew that the people running One had not thought much of him. Surely he would be able to con the cocky American until Lisa was well again. As he made arrangements to move to Cardiff, he wondered briefly what his watcher thought of the path he had chosen.

When he came to be part of Torchwood Three, the angel's presence gradually faded away. This time it felt different, as if his companion silently approved of his choices. In any case, he had other things to be concerned about, as he was trying to keep Lisa hidden under the very nose of Captain Jack Harkness, which turned out to be much harder than he had initially anticipated.

His dashing employer was an enigma and the Captain's eyes seemed to bore holes into Ianto's soul. His conscience was constantly nagging him about Lisa and about lying to Jack, but he was so tangled in the web of deceit that he knew not how to explain his actions and tell the truth to the man with whom he was falling in love harder every day. He had never considered himself gay or bisexual, but now he found that he was powerless against Jack's charm. He felt that his silent watcher somehow also approved of this turn of events and indeed the thought of the angel himself had on occasional caused as strong a reaction in his body as the Captain did. His problem with Lisa resolved itself and he shared his first kiss with Jack amidst death and destruction. After that, it was a while before their relationship progressed further – what with Ianto grieving and Jack being angry about the young man's betrayal – but when it did, Ianto felt that he had finally found himself a place and a relationship where he truly belonged.


	9. Unseen Watcher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or Doctor Who.
> 
> Author's note: Wow, this turned out a tad longer than I intended. Still, I got to say everything I wanted, so I guess it's okay. There are two more chapters to come after this. 
> 
> By the way, this chapter contains a nod towards a collection of Doctor Who stories I've been working on, Memories from our Journeys. Thumbs up if you know which chapter I'm talking about! ^_^

Once the youngest member of this team was born, Jack's life suddenly snapped back into focus. He spent much of Ianto's early years keeping an eye on the rest of the team. That required a fair bit of travelling between London and Wales, but Jack was not a stranger to nights spent driving along quiet roads. He particularly enjoyed looking in on Toshiko, as the sight of the young girl somehow eased his sorrow about what had happened to his friend. Tosh showed sure signs of being a genius from an early age and Jack wished more had been done to nurture the gifted child. He dared not interfere too much, although he might have on occasion slipped a book on advanced mathematics or engineering into her bag of library books. Tosh seemed to absorb the difficult concepts with little difficulty and kept these books hidden in her room, treasuring each and wondering about her unknown benefactor.

Little Gwen had huge, endearing brown eyes, which seemed to make it impossible for anyone to say no to her. She brought light and laugher with her wherever she went. She was perhaps a little spoiled and she took advantage of that, accustomed to getting what she wanted. But even as a child she showed the same level of empathy towards others that made her such a good police officer as an adult and such an important part of Torchwood. Jack may not have thought that she was always able to see the bigger picture, but she certainly reminded the rest of the team about all things human.

Owen as a child surprised Jack greatly. He was always polite and seemed to have a large number of friends. He enjoyed school a great deal and often stayed late to study in the library. Jack knew part of this was because of the strained, rather frosty relationship he had with his mother, but the Captain believed that a greater reason was that Owen simply loved discovering new things and always knowing a little more about a given subject than others. From what his unseen watcher could tell, he had his heart set on becoming a doctor from an early age. Here too Jack felt a hint of sadness, knowing the kind of obstacles life would throw at Owen. The friendly, polite youngster would turn into a reticent, snarky medic that the Captain had recruited to Torchwood and once again there was nothing Jack could do to change that.

Over the years, when he was in London, he dropped by to check up on some old friends. Mickey was exuberant and energetic and frequently ran his grandmother to distraction with his antics. He already had a huge crush on Rose, who lived nearby and went to the same school as him. His feelings were painfully obvious to everyone except the object of his affection. Still, they frequently played together and discovered new ways of getting into trouble. Rose was beautiful already as a child. His heart ached as he thought of the young woman she would grow up to become, a young woman Jack himself would eventually fall in love with. The Captain remembered how she had been wise despite her youth, with the greatest capacity for love and compassion he had ever encountered. He had seen her name among the fallen at the battle of Canary Wharf and had mourned her passing, even if a tiny part of his heart hoped that perhaps the Doctor had saved her somehow.

On one occasion when he was in London he stopped by to see Rose, as usual. He leaned against a tree in the Powell estate and watched as she rode circles with her new red bicycle. Her face was shining with pure joy and it was clear just how much she loved her bike. He wanted to go closer, to look into her soulful eyes just once, but a movement from across the playground caught his eye. He spotted a tall leather-clad figure also watching the young girl and a jolt of electricity rushed through him. It had been over two hundred years since he had last seen the Doctor, yet there he was, watching Rose ride her bike. There was a small smile playing on his lips and he seemed almost oblivious to everything around him. Jack was not sure whether the Doctor had already met him in his timeline, but suspected that he had not. There was something about the way he was watching Rose that made Jack think that they did not yet know one another all that well. Not wishing to intrude upon the Doctor's contemplation of his beloved companion, he discreetly withdrew and resolved to stop by again another time. Little did he know that Jack would never see this particular regeneration of the Doctor again.

Jack also became an integral part of his daughter's life. Alice had inherited plenty of charm from both of her parents, which the Captain initially found amusing. He did, however, change his mind once Alice reached her teens and started getting interested in boys. He and the girl's mother never lived together, but Jack visited them at least once a week, often more frequently. He tended to pick her up from school every Friday and then take her somewhere for the evening. He loved spending time with her alone. The love shining from her innocent eyes made Jack feel less like a monster and more human. He treasured his daughter's love for him, knowing that things would surely change when she found out the truth about him and his immortality. No matter how painful it would be to watch Alice grow old and die, the Captain swore he would always be as much a part of her life as she would let him. But as time went by, Alice's mother began to pull her daughter and herself away from Jack, away from the man who looked as young as the day they had first met. It hurt the Captain a great deal, but all he could do was respect her wishes and tell Alice time and time again that he would always be there for her.

As Ianto grew, Jack found that the young boy stole more and more of his attention. He seemed incapable of tearing his eyes of the joyous youngster. The Captain was very grateful of his wrist strap's ability to generate a localised perception filter, which enabled him to watch Ianto unseen. If he was openly spending his time near the little boy, people would very soon become suspicious. Even at such a young age Ianto surprised Jack, as he somehow seemed to sense that he was being watched. Over time the Welshman developed sophisticated ability to detect Jack's presence, perception filters be damned. He listened to Ianto talking to him, read his letter and, together with the local foxes, polished off any food left for him. It initially amused Jack that Ianto thought he was an angel, but gradually the idea appealed to him more and more.

Thus, little by little, Jack became Ianto's self-appointed guardian angel. It started off as small gestures, such as making sure that he got home safely when he played in the woods after dark. When Ianto was woken up by nightmares, the Captain stayed in his room and once the boy had gone back to sleep, sat next to the bed gently stroking his hair. Later, Jack watched over him as Ianto braved the darkened streets of Newport and, as a young adult, various European cities on his travels. The only harm Jack could not protect his ward from was the boy's own father. He had seen the scars on Ianto's pale body when they made love, he knew from the little his lover told him who had inflicted such marks on him. When Ianto's cries of pain reached his ears, Jack had to bite his own fist to stop himself of screaming out loud and storming the house to kill the abusive father.

The Torchwood Three team reached adulthood and Jack continued to watch over them. He watched as Gwen went on her first date with Rhys, grinning madly at the tentative first kiss at the end of the evening. He stood in the shadows when Owen proposed to Katie. He felt terrible for his gifted medic, knowing just how short-lived his happiness would be. He kept an eye on Toshiko, watching the circles under her eyes grow darker as she struggled to build the Sonic Modulator for her mother's captors. Jack wanted to hug her, desperate to reassure her that life would get better eventually. He knew that the time she would spend in solitary confinement would leave its mark on her, but all he could do was watch from the sidelines, utterly helpless.

When Ianto started dating Lisa, Jack learned just how jealous he could be. It gave him new perspective on how the Welshman must have felt when the Captain flirted with anything that moved and with Gwen in particular. As he watched Ianto pull his girlfriend into his arms and kiss her passionately, Jack resolved to be more mindful of his young lover's feelings. He did not begrudge the Welshman his happiness, indeed he liked seeing Ianto smile so frequently, but rather he wished it was he himself bringing out those emotions. In their brief relationship before Jack got trapped in the past, the two men had not acted like a couple in public or even in front of the rest of the team. Jack had always tried to justify it as wanting to keep his lover all to himself, but now he wondered whether Ianto had interpreted this as his employer simply wanting regular sex but nothing beyond that. Once again Jack was determined to straighten things out with Ianto as soon as they were reunited and treat with young man with the respect and affection he deserved. For now, Ianto was happy with Lisa as Jack watched on. The Welshman seemed to detect his watcher's apprehension towards Lisa, however, as the Captain noticed a minute amount of hesitation in Ianto's body language whenever the two lovers were together.

As the Ghost Shifts intensified and the battle of Canary Wharf grew nearer, Jack became increasingly worried. The idea of leaving Ianto to the mercy of the Daleks and the Cybermen seemed inconceivable. The Captain knew that he should not be anywhere near London on the eve of the battle, since too many things could go wrong. The Doctor and Rose would be there and after everything was over, the place would be crawling with UNIT personnel, who all knew who he was. More importantly, he himself had been called from Cardiff to survey the total destruction of One. All those things added up to plenty of reasons to stay away, which was probably why he found himself sneaking into the Torchwood Tower just hours before the attack was to begin.

It was risky and stupid, Jack knew that very well, even more so because Torchwood personnel were far more likely to see through his perception filter than ordinary people. Still, he had to make sure Ianto would get through the day unharmed, or as unharmed as was possible given the circumstances. His gamble hinged very much on the hope that the Doctor would have no reason to visit the archives, where the Welshman as a junior researcher would spend most of his time. Much to his relief, he found Ianto in the archives and alone.

As the first signs of battle rocked the Tower, Jack watched the alarmed researcher from the shadows and tried to figure out how to best keep the young man safe. The choice was made for him, however, when the building shook violently and the roof developed growing cracks. Ianto seemed frozen in place, staring at the ceiling that was about to collapse and so the Captain sprung into action. He rushed to the Welshman, tackling him to the ground just as chunks of concrete and metal began raining on them. He managed to save Ianto from serious injury, but he himself was not quite so lucky, as a piece of twisted metal impaled his torso. He was able to slowly slide the girder fragment out, but he knew the wound was fatal. Still, he thought as he slowly bled to death, his proximity to his young lover would keep them both protected under the perception filter. In his final moment of consciousness before the darkness reared up to claim him he breathed in Ianto's scent and drew comfort from the familiarity of it.

When Jack jerked back to life, his first thought was that it was too quiet. An eerie silence hung about the building and clouds of dust were slowly starting to settle. To his relief, Ianto was still unconscious but appeared mostly uninjured. The Captain pushed himself off the man he had saved, groaning at the stab of pain shooting from the still healing wound on his chest. It seemed that the battle was over, which was his cue to get as far away from Canary Wharf and London as he possibly could. He stroked Ianto's cheek with trembling fingers, desperately wishing he could take his lover with him. But the Welshman had to go and rescue his girlfriend, so that he would have a reason to join Torchwood Three. That was one event in his timeline the immortal man had no intention of changing. With a great deal of reluctance, he glanced at Ianto one last time and limbed out of the archives.

Jack saw Ianto one final time before the Welshman returned to Cardiff. Having installed Lisa in a secure location, he had hurried back to their flat to pack their belongings in readiness for the move. The Captain watched on, taking in the general rumpled appearance of the young man and the dark circles under his eyes. Life was hard for the Torchwood archivist, but things would eventually start to look brighter for him.

Seeing him pack boxes into a van he had hired, Jack felt closer now to Ianto than he had ever been before, even thought not once had their eyes met, no words had been exchanged, and it had been over half a century since the last time Jack had felt the Welshman's gentle caresses on his bare skin. He now knew Ianto, knew him beyond the carefully constructed façade the young man chose to show to the world around him, beyond the half-truths and outright lies he told to keep the ghosts of his past hidden. Before he had known the contents of Ianto's personnel file by heart and had made love to him enough times to be familiar with every inch of the young man's pale skin. Despite this, he had not taken time to find out who his lover actually was in the moments when they were alone, when the rest of the world had faded to the background. He was oddly grateful that he had been granted a chance to discover some of the things he had missed.

After decades passing with agonising slowness, time suddenly slipped through his fingers like finest sand. Before he knew it, it was finally time for Jack to go home.


	10. Bittersweet Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.
> 
> Author's note: You may have noticed that Tosh has featured very little in the last two chapters. This was very deliberate, since I wanted to deal with her in a specific way. In this chapter, her voice carries across decades to reach her friends.

Two hours had passed since they had opened the Rift with the help of the Rift Manipulator and the tension in the Hub was so thick Ianto was sure he could cut it with a knife. Gwen had returned some time earlier, since opening the Rift had not impacted the Ritz Dance Hall in the present in any way. She had helped Owen patch himself up while Ianto made them each a cup of strong coffee. As minutes ticked by, Ianto was becoming more and more agitated by the waiting.

"Should we perhaps go back to the Dance Hall? There might have been a delay in the Rift bringing them back, some kind of time lapse or whatever Tosh used to call them."

Gwen was the first to break the silence and ask the question they were all thinking about.

"We should give them another half an hour, before…"

Ianto's words were interrupted by the siren warning them that the giant cog door was about to open. All three members of the Torchwood team rushed towards it, just in time to see their Captain stride through it. Ianto was initially puzzled as to why he was alone, but then he looked at their leader more closely. Jack wore the same outfit he had worn earlier when he and Tosh had headed out, but he could have sworn the clothes were slightly different. More telling was the sadness and hope warring in their leader's eyes, which made Ianto's veins run with ice.

"It didn't work, did it?" He whispered, just loud enough for the others to hear. "Opening the Rift didn't bring you home."

Jack merely shook his head, while Gwen and Owen gasped at the implications of this, and strode straight to the Welshman before him. The Captain pulled Ianto into a crushing hug, letting out a shuddering breath of relief at finally being back where he belonged. Ianto held his lover just as tight in his arms, keen to give Jack the time he clearly needed to compose himself before facing the others. Finally the immortal man pulled back and turned to regard what remained of his team with serious eyes.

"I have something for you."

Jack pulled a yellowed letter from his coat pocket and handed it to Ianto. Owen and Gwen gathered close as they all recognized Toshiko's neat handwriting instantly. With trembling fingers the young Welshman pulled out a letter and held it so that they could all read it together:

_5 January 1983_

_Dear Gwen, Owen and Ianto_

_When I am writing this, you are all still children. By the time you read this, I will be dead._

_Unlike Jack, I was not cut out for the long road. I knew that straight away of course, back in 1940, when the Rift failed to bring us home. Over sixty years will have passed by the time Jack delivers this letter, but I bet he will not look a day older. That is, until you see his eyes. I worry about him, he has been carrying so much sadness with him all these years. I hope that by being reunited with all of you, and Ianto in particular, will offer him a small measure if peace after the long road he has had to traverse to find you again._

_When Jack officially discharged me from my service to Torchwood, he was kind enough not to retcon me. In practical terms it would have been extremely difficult, given the extent of my knowledge and given how long I have worked for the institute. Life, as it turned out, decided that I should not take those memories to my grave after all. It has now been six months since I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and already I struggle to recall your faces. By the time the disease claims me, I will not remember even my own name._

_While things still remain in focus, however, I wanted to reassure you that I have led a good life. It was certainly not a life I expected, in so many ways, but I have found more happiness than I ever dared to dream. Back at the Ritz Dance Hall, where Jack and I slipped into the past, I met a young navigator called Tim. We kept in touch through the war and Jack often called us wartime sweethearts. We were in love and after the war Tim asked me to marry him. The day of our wedding was the happiest in my life so far. Since then, I have had many more such days._

_You see, I became something I thought I would be would be – a mother. I had six children, although my youngest son died in infancy, and with the help of them and Tim I was able to rebuild a family to replace the one I lost. I have three grandchildren now and my oldest daughter is pregnant with the fourth. I cannot describe the love I have for my children, but I hope that one day you yourself will experience that same love towards your children. Please do not let Torchwood stop you from having a family and finding someone you love to spend your days with!_

_Tim and I have grown old together and his presence in my life has been a great blessing. I have never been able to tell him the truth about who I am, but I like to think that he would love me regardless. I see sadness and worry etched on his face when he is unaware I am looking at him, although he tries to hide it as best he can. It seems like such a cruel fate that he has to lose me, lose the Toshiko he loves, long before death will eventually claim me. I cannot tell how terrified I am of the thought that one day I will forget my beloved husband and my family._

_Jack has granted me a final request, a final breach of Torchwood protocol, although officially I have not been part of the institute for decades. He has agreed that I can be buried in a cemetery here, rather than returned to the Torchwood morgue. I will rest easy, knowing I am near my little boy and that one day my husband will lie by my side. I hope I will dream of distant planets, of music from beyond the stars and of friends I have not seen for such a long time, but who have always been in my thoughts. I hope that you will one day come to visit my grave._

_The day you will read this letter is my grandfather's 88th birthday. Please tell my family that I love them. I know they can never find out the truth about what happened to me, but this letter is my chance to say goodbye to them. I hope you will tell them that I was happy and had a painless death._

_Thank you for everything we have been through and done together over the years. Please remember me and know that I am happy._

_Yours always,_

_Toshiko_

By the time they finished reading the letter, all three remaining Torchwood members were blinking back tears. With the letter were photos, some old in black and white and some newer ones. They showed Toshiko through the decades, starting with a wedding photo of her and Tim. There were pictures of their children and the last one showed Tosh, grey and bent with age, holding her first grandchild. Despite the decades that she had lived through since they had last seen her, her smile was as bright and radiant as ever. The team looked through the photos slowly, taking in details of Toshiko they had never before seen. Amidst their shock, the sight of her obvious happiness eased their sorrow a little.

Jack stood beside his team, momentarily lost in fond memories of Toshiko and Tim that had been awaked by the photographs. He missed his friend, who had been the only one to know the truth about him for many long decades. It seemed inconceivable that she had been at her desk in the Hub that very same morning. He suspected he would spend many an hour going through the CCTV footage of the base, simply watching Tosh go about her work. Ianto putting the letter and the pictures back in the envelope roused him from his reverie and reminded him about what he was going to say next.

"Tim passed away six years ago, but not before he became a great grandfather. He was buried next to Toshiko, just like they both wanted."

"But how did you survive if she didn't?" Owen asked the question that was also bothering Ianto. "You don't look a day older and according to this it's been over sixty years since we last saw you."

A shadow passed over Jack's features and Ianto immediately wished Owen has not voiced their concern just yet. He was surprised, however, to see a guilty look on Gwen's face, which suggested that the Welshwoman already knew the answer. Ianto felt an unexpected stab of hurt at the thought that Jack had shared a secret with the newest member of their team, but not with him.

"I'd rather not go into it now," Jack hedged. "I'll explain everything in good time, I promise."

"I'd like to see her," Gwen stepped in, before Owen could object. "I'd like to go say goodbye to Toshiko."

Ianto nodded and even Owen reluctantly agreed that dragging answers out of Jack could wait. He was less thrilled when he heard that they had several hours' drive ahead of them, but Gwen quickly promised to drive and ushered them towards the car. Much to the team's surprise, Jack slid into the back and settled in the middle seat, allowing Owen to claim shotgun. The Captain held Ianto's hand throughout the long drive.

It had just begun to rain when they got out of the SUV at the cemetery by the village church where Toshiko and Tim had been married decades earlier. They had stayed in that same West Country village all their lives, choosing to raise their large family in the warm and close-knit community. Jack led the team past rows of graves with familiarity that suggested that he had followed the same path countless times before. Near the far edge of the cemetery, under a large oak three, were three headstones clustered together. Toshiko's lay in the middle, with Tim resting to her right and her infant son to her left. All three graves were well kept and had fresh flowers in marble vases. Jack brushed absent-mindedly a stray leaf off of Tosh's headstone. The date carved to the stone revealed that Tosh had died a mere three years after she had written the letter to her fellow team members.

Gwen laid the white roses they had bought on the grave and took a step back. She was still trying to wrap her head around the thought that her friend, with whom she had been chatting about shoes just that very same morning, was dead and had been dead for over two decades. Somehow what had happened to Tosh finally made the power of the Rift seem real to her. It took and gave with utter indifference and the Torchwood team was left to pick up the pieces. But now one of their own had fallen, had died over twenty years ago and they had not know.

"Tosh, I'm going to miss you," Gwen started, feeling like she should say something, but she was soon overcome with the grief settling in her heart. "Tosh, oh god, Tosh!"

Jack drew the distraught Welshwoman to a hug, letting her sob against his great coat. The Captain's face showed lines of grief, etched on it over sixty decades. He met Ianto's eyes over Gwen's bowed head and the young man's eyes mirrored the endless sorrow in his own.

"Yeah, Tosh, it won't be the same without you." Owen's voice was even more gruff than usual and he discreetly brushed a hand over his eyes.

Ianto stepped forward and kneeled in front of the grave, disregarding the moisture that immediately soaked his suit trousers and raising his face to meet the endless stream of rain drops. He stayed unmoving for a few moments and then cleared his throat. Once he began to speak, the rest of the world faded to the background until all there remained for him was the headstone he reached out to stroke.

"Toshiko, I wanted to say thank you. During a time when all I wanted to do was to die, your companionable silence was far more comfortable than the disingenuous questions about how I was doing. You of all the people understood, because you too had sacrificed everything for a loved one and paid the price for it. Even more than that, you genuinely cared about me. You made me feel worthy of being someone's friend again. You made me feel like I could matter again. Not just keeping the Hub in order, but actually matter as a person. To you, my opinions and feelings were important. I will never forget that. I'm not sure if you knew, but you were my best friend. In fact, you were the first best friend I ever had. It was an honour and a privilege to work, fight and laugh by your side. I hope from the bottom of my heart that you lived your life knowing how much you were loved by us all. No one can ever take your place in our lives and in our hearts. Thank you, Toshiko, and goodbye. I hope you are resting well, with your family around you, and that one day we may meet again."

By the time Ianto ran out of words, all four of them had tears in their eyes. Thus the sky and the Torchwood team cried themselves dry in front of the tombstone of their beloved friend.


	11. Home Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood.
> 
> Author's note: As usual, apologies for the delay. Here is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy the general fluffiness of it. I'm aware by the way that I have brought certain things forwards somewhat, but since this is AU, I figured I could.

That night, after they returned to Cardiff, Ianto opened the door to his flat, mentally and physically exhausted. Jack stepped in after him and closed the door, having wordlessly followed Ianto home. Ianto's mind was still reeling from the events of the day. During the drive back from Tosh's grave, Jack had briefly outlined what had happened at the Ritz Dance Hall and during the years that followed. He had also explained about his immortality. The Welshman had spent much of the car journey trying to process everything he had learned, his fingers entwined with Jack's. The immortal man seemed to draw a great deal of comfort from the physical contact and Ianto had to admit that he rather enjoyed it himself, particularly as it took place in front of Gwen and Owen. The medic had called him Jack's part-time shag only hours before, but the Captain's actions spoke otherwise.

Jack had been at Ianto's flat before, on a few occasions, but even then mostly to drop the young man off after he had been injured in an alien hunt or to pick up spare clothes. He had never stayed the night. Most of the time they had sex in the Hub and Ianto always went home when they were done. Going to sleep together afterwards had never seemed to be an option.

Ianto headed straight for the kitchen to put the kettle on. He figured they could both do with a cup of calming herbal tea. Jack had shrugged off his coat and was leaning against the kitchen doorway, content to want the young man move around the room. Ianto prepared the cups of tea in comfortable silence, but when he handed Jack his cup, he looked at the older man with a hint of uncertainty.

"I've had over sixty years to think about all the things I want to say to you, but now that I'm here, I don't know where to start." Jack let out a hollow laugh.

"Why don't you start with what is most important?"

Ianto raised an eyebrow as he sipped his tea and then turned to tidy away the kettle and the tea bags.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight?"

There was almost a pleading note in Jack's voice. Both the question and the tone caught Ianto by surprise and the turned to look at the older man. The usual mask of bravado and charm had slipped and the Captain's eyes showed a mixture of vulnerability and endless sorrow. Ianto's heart ached with sympathy and he opened his mouth to respond, but Jack beat him to it.

"And I don't mean to suggest that we have sex. I just want to hold you tonight, be close to you so that I know you're really here. I can't bear the thought of waking up alone and not knowing for certain whether today was just another cruel nightmare."

Ianto's eyes softened into affection and he reached to cup Jack's cheek with his free hand. He felt his sometime-lover lean into the touch.

"Of course, you know you are welcome any time."

"Am I"?

Once again the Captain's question caught the Welshman off guard and he frowned, letting his hand drop. As before, Jack spoke on without giving him a chance to respond.

"What I mean is that I haven't treated you right. I know we never spoke about what was going on between us, but I think I made you feel like all I was interested in was a casual and convenient arrangement of sex and nothing more. But over the past six decades I realised that you meant so much more to me than I ever suspected.

"I trust you, not just out in the field, but also with my secrets. When we're alone, I don't have to be the person everyone expects me to be, I can just be myself. You have no idea how precious that is to me. I also realised that I don't know much at all about you and I want to find out. I want to know what your favourite food is and which of your suits you prefer and what plans you have for the future. Hell, you make the best coffee in the world and yet I don't even know how you take yours. I used to think that there was plenty of time for that, but today, this awful day that lasted over sixty years has demonstrated quite clearly that anything can and will happen. So I don't want to waist any more time pretending that I don't care about you and pretending that we are not in a relationship."

Ianto stood still for a long time, processing Jack's words in silence. There were so many things to ask, so many things to respond to, and the young man's mind struggled to decide which to address first. In the end, he started from the end.

"Are we?"

It was the Captain's turn to frown in confusion.

"Are we what?"

"Are we in a relationship?"

Jack considered the question carefully, aware of the consequences of being flippant. Although Ianto had done his best to fashion his features into his trademark unreadable mask, there was a flicker of hope in his eyes that he was not quite able to conceal. That glimpse of emotion gave Jack the courage to speak his mind.

"I don't think we were in a relationship this morning, your this morning that is, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't start one now. And this time I want to do it right. I want to take you out on an actual date, you know, dinner, movie, hopefully no Weevils. I could pick you up from here, drop you off, kiss you goodnight and not wait even an hour before calling to propose a second date."

Ianto smiled at Jack's words, spoken in an almost breathless fashion. His eyes held a look of wonder, as if he could not quite believe what the man before him was proposing.

"You want us to be a couple? You want to be my boyfriend?"

It was Jack's turn to smile.

"Boyfriend, partner, whatever you wish to call me. You know I don't care for labels, but with you I'm more than willing to make an exception."

Ianto felt his smile widen into a grin as unexpected happiness surged through him. He had hoped for this many times, during the lonely hours of the night when he wished to be in Jack's arms rather than alone in his flat. He had always dismissed the longing within him as wistful thinking, knowing full well that the Captain could not be tamed into a relationship and even if he could, he would be unlikely to choose someone as damaged as Ianto to spend his days with. Yet here they were, in his kitchen, and Jack was looking at him with a mixture of hope and uncertainty.

"I'd like that. I'd like that very much."

The Captain let out a small laugh of relief and stepped closer to his boyfriend. _I have a boyfriend!_ He set both of their tea cups on the counter and then used the tips of his fingers to skate over Ianto's features. The Welshman closed his eyes, enjoying the feather light touches, which felt far more intimate than anything they had done before.

Being so close to Jack and smelling his pheromones in the air, something suddenly fell into place in Ianto's mind. It was a faint memory that had been nagging him at the very edge of his consciousness ever since he joined Torchwood Three, daring him to figure it out.

"It was you," the young man whispered in awe. "You, living through the past six decades once more, you were my guardian angel."

"Yes."

"You watched over me when I was a child, comforted me through the nightmares and listened to my teenage rants in the woods."

"Yes."

"You protected me on dark alleys across Europe. You saved me during the battle at Canary Wharf."

"Yes."

"You died for me that day, so that I could live?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Jack," Ianto choked out his lover's name, overcome with emotions, and reached out for the man in front of him.

Jack stepped into his embrace willingly, drawing comfort from the strong arms encircling him. Just as Ianto breathed in the intoxicating scent that was his lover's pheromones, so did Jack draw comfort from the familiar mixture of coffee and Ianto's aftershave. They stayed in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually Ianto stepped back and took Jack's hand.

"Come on, let's go to bed."

The immortal followed him into to bedroom, where they undressed each other without any particular hurry and then slipped between the cool sheets. Jack automatically scooted over and opened his arms as an invitation. Ianto rested his head on the Captain's shoulder and enjoyed the feel of being so close to his lover. He was very aware of all the bare skin against his own, but somehow in the past 24 hours they had moved past lust into something more profound, something that was binding their lives together even as they lay in each other's embrace. He struggled against the drowsiness tugging at the edge of his consciousness and tilted his head so he could look at Jack without moving.

"Jack?"

"Uhuh?"

"Please don't slip through any more cracks in time."

Jack chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on Ianto's forehead.

"I have no intention of going anywhere, I promise."

Ianto nodded and yawned. Within moments his breathing evened out and he fell asleep. Jack's final thought, before he followed Ianto to pleasant dreams, was that after a long time on the road, he had finally found his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it. Sort of happy ending, although Jack's final promise holds more than a little irony considering what happens next in the canon. In any case, I hope you have enjoyed this story. Thank you for walking the road with me.


End file.
